08.25.08
Lessons of Obedience
After we decided to pray for Chicago’s revival conference, Hongjin has declared a fast of 40 days. I was first not very happy, for I was eating very little already “Lord, do you want me to fast more than this?” Then after a brief struggle, I decided to eat one meal a day from Passover to Pentacost, about 50 days. Shortly afterwards, God has led me into a deep cleansing that some days I almost couldn’t go to work, let alone to get on the bridge to pray for revival or others. The cleansing process lasted till the 50 days were over, but still dragged on afterwards somewhat. The main outcome is to cleanse my love for the idol of mankind.
Then when this conference day was approaching, we were fervently praying for the worship team. I know I am supposed to be a worshipper, but God once told me that he couldn’t use me for I minded people too much-Leading worship for me had no difference than performing for the audience, which is supposed to lead people to sacrifice the right offerings so that God will be pleased. It is a serious business. Finally one day in a very strong way, God called me to do it this time, though I know I am still lacking in the area of pleasing men. Now I understand, when the fasting was called, the cleasing process was to prepare for this conference anyway, though I didn’t know it. Obedience to the call of fast paid off this time.
On another front, in the preparation for this conference, God impressed upon me to study Pastor Grace’s “Humility” tape series. I started it, but didn’t follow up, and I noticed the enemy’s attacking work in several places in this area, which could have been overcome if humility were in place. Had I known this outcome, I would have been more attentive to God’s voice. However, God wants us to walk by faith, not by understanding. Overall, I will just be more careful about obeying God, for I won’t know how serious the outcome would be if I wouldn’t. Imagine, Adam and eve just had a bite of that fruit, if they had known the outcome of this disobedient act, they probably wouldn’t do it so lightly.
